Python Encyclopedia

Encyclopedia Britannica has announced they will, putting an end to 244 years of monolithic book collections, for reasons… actually, I’m not entirely sure why they’re stopping. Gonna have to Wikipedia that.

Like most grown-up children in my age vicinity, when I hear ‘Encyclopedia Britannica’, I instantly think of their relentless advertising barrage on Nickelodeon throughout the early 90s, when minute-long commercials of a whiny-voiced spokeskid and a stubborn disembodied off-camera voice shattered fourth-walls constantly during Double Dare commercial breaks, delaying our G.I. Joe ads and Barney’s schemes to acquire Fred’s cereal-shaped sugar drug. At least the ads for stupid girl toys had the decency to be thirty seconds long and not directly address us.

Here, in honor of Britannica’s departure from this physical realm, are 5 Of The Most Awesomely Insufferable Britannica Ads. Still grating after all these years!

5. “Don’t Zap Me Yet”

4. Report On Space

3. “Remember me?”

2. Not That Kid, But Hilariously Dramatic